Why don't we do, what we know we should do?
If you’ve ever found it easier to give advice than implement advice, you’re not alone.
It’s more common to know what to do than to implement what’s common.
“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”
If we know what to do, why don’t we do it?
Depending on who you are, your vice is likely different - so pick your poison:
Too many choices
Too big of a task
It’s easier not to do, than to do
Too expensive
Imposter syndrome
Not a good time (I’ll do it tomorrow)
There’s plenty of reasons we could come up with as to why we’re not doing what we know we should.
& guess what?
They’re right.
The reasons are all well & valid.
That just doesn’t excuse our way out of doing the work.
I recently had a conversation with someone who used school as a reason for why they gained weight.
No.
School is not the reason you gained weight.
You gained weight because you ate too much food & didn’t exercise.
You’re just using “school” as a socially acceptable excuse for your laziness.
And you can exchange “school” for any other excuse in the book.
At the end of the day:
The pain or consequence of making a decision that isn’t serving you, isn’t felt until later (sometimes never).
You feel the benefits of your bad habits immediately, & the benefits of your good habits later.
Because pain is delayed & the benefit is today - we neglect better decisions for pleasure.
Have a drink or smoke → feel a buzz
Not exercise → more comfort
Eat a donut → tastes delicious
Spend money → get it now
It’s not until later that these habits start to bite you.
And it’s not just that they nib you, they bite you… hard!
I sadly had an adult friend pass recently who was a great man and the life of the party.
I know he wouldn’t mind me sharing this but his habits drove him into the ground.
If he were alive today, looking back on his life… knowing that he is now passed… he would come to that conclusion.
But you don’t see that when you’re in the thick of it.
Not only do the habits become ingrained into your personality but neurologically, alcohol, tobacco, food, spending money are extremely addictive.
So even if you want to change down the road, your willpower is constantly being pulled by your brains and body’s dependency on this activity it feels it needs to survive.
It’s a double-edged sword.
Every decision you make is like casting a vote towards the person you want to become.
This comes with good & bad news:
Bad news = that person you’re becoming may not be someone you like.
Good news = your decisions are in your control & you can alter the outcome.
Changing decisions and behavior is hard - but it should be.
What’s worth it isn’t easy and what’s easy isn’t worth it.
The less hard work you do, the less satisfying the reward of your work becomes.
To reap the reward of your effort, discipline bridges the gap between where you are & where you want to be.
So how do you build discipline?
For me, I find my discipline hinges upon my reputation with myself.
When I say I’m going to do something, I make a contract with myself and I don’t give myself a way out.
“Accountability breeds response-ability. ”
I make good on my word (even if no one knows about it but myself).
This act fulfilling the promise to myself provides the foundation for doing what I know I should.
And it’s not always huge, monumental tasks.
It could be as simple as, you said you were going to take a cold shower today or run at the gym today.
When I do what I said I was going to do I’m strengthening my trust in myself.
This trust is what empowers me to believe in myself.
The more I believe in myself, the more I’m pulled towards new challenges in pursuit of virtue.
And this positive momentum continues.
What’s the smallest thing you could do to build trust with yourself?
Honor your word.